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Submitted on
March 28, 2009


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jadisofeternity Jul 27, 2009  Student General Artist

that's a little simple dream scene from the story I am writing. I'm not very good at this yet, so I'm looking for feedback on how to write fictional dream scenes
jadisofeternity May 19, 2009  Student General Artist
this is a cool Idea. I am writing a novel which has to do with Dreaming. I also pay close attention to my own dreams
I'm glad you like it.

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jadisofeternity May 26, 2009  Student General Artist
cool:) thanks
x0cutiepie0x May 1, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
This is based on a dream my brother had and it can be found here [link]

Mark had just gotten out of bed, thinking of what to eat for breakfast. No one was awake as it was only nine o'clock. He peeks into his sister's room and sees her soundly asleep in the middle of Mom and Dad, both hugging her. Mark smiles. He hopes for her a bright future.

On the way to the kitchen, Mark glances out the window to see if the sky had cleared up. It had been overcast the whole week and Mark had been planning to take his family out of state for a little family trip. Hmph, no luck, he thinks to himself.As he was about to move away even slightest from the window, Mark realizes that it was strangely quiet outside. There were no cars and no one running their daily mile.

His heart stops for a moment. Quickly, he grabs a hoody and runs outside.Mark heads toward the shopping center, confused. The local Stop n' Shop is covered in a tent and around it were yellow "do not cross" tape and military personnel. He walks in closer for a better look. Everyone is busy in their quarantine suits and Mark suspects the worst of what is going on in his community. A person ducks under the tent. Mark debates whether to tell anyone but decides to mind his own business as the person appears and walks away casually from the scene.

Mark heads to the right of Stop n' Shop to Macy's. He tries to enter the store. The people inside crowd around the door, not knowing whether to let him in or not. The door is blocked and Mark doesn't understand what's going on. He is trapped between the inner entrance doors and the outer entrance doors. Mark tries to mouth words to the people but they just stare out behind him, jaws open. He turns around to see people slowly walking towards him. They seem as they are limping, like they need medical attention. Mark still doesn't understand until they started moaning. They came closer and he could see them more clearly. Their skin torn, blood dripping from every inch of skin they had left, and eyes white with hands stretching out for anyone in their path.

Mark realizes what's going on. His community had been overrun by zombies, how and when he didn't know. He feels like it's the end for him; he'll never see his family again, nor will they see him. Mark closes his eyes and waits when he hears engines and screeching. He opens his eyes to see Humvees lined up in front of the doors. The Army had arrived.

"Open fire!" shouts a soldier.

The Humvees open a burst of orange and yellow. Their machine guns rip the air and the zombies. Everyone is out of their vehicles except for the gunners and Mark sees this as an opportunity to get out of the area. All the soldiers are busy and none pay attention to him as he enters the driver's seat of the nearest Humvee. Mark steps on the acceleration and speeds back home, hitting a few zombies on the way.

"What the hell are you doing!" the gunner yells at him. "We need to go back there and help them!"

"Please, I need to get back to my family," Mark says, trying to reason with him.

The gunner stays quiet as they approach the house. It's impossibly quiet and the street is still empty. Mark parks the Humvee in front of the driveway and sees that his car is missing. He thinks hopefully that his family had heard the news and drove up to their emergency meet-up point. He turns the Humvee around and heads for the parkway.

The drive up to Cooperstown was quiet. It became night when they were on the highway and it made it more difficult to stay calm. There were zombies eating corpses on the side of the road; cars were ablaze in the middle of the road. Both Mark and the gunner were uncomfortable when Mark pointed out that the Humvee was almost out of fuel.

"Hey, soldier, what's your name?" Mark asks. He tries to break the ice with talking.

"Private Rick Simmons," he replies.

The needle reached the E and Mark restarted the engine in desperation. Red and blue lights flashed in front of him and Rick points out an abandoned police car. The two of them leave the vehicle but soon hear moaning.

"Are there any weapons in the Humvee?" Mark asks.

"Yeah, there's an M4, some ammo, backpacks, MREs, and the .50 Caliber if you want to dismount it," Rick replies.

The two of them bring the equipment into the police car but realize that there is no key in the ignition.

"Shit, do you know how to hotwire a car?" Mark asks Rick.

"Yeah, that's why I'm in the Army," Rick says, climbing into the driver's seat. "If I didn't join, I would've gone to prison."

The moaning came closer and Mark could see silhouettes. He grabs the M4 and crouches on one knee with his right eye in the scope.

"Do it," he says to Rick. "I'll cover you."

Rick gets to work while Mark waits for the zombies to come closer. When they do, he aims for their head and pulls the trigger, as one should do like in the movies (Resident Evil - destroy the brain -- the main control). He starts to get worried as a whole crowd comes into view but the sound of an engine starting relieves him. Mark turns around but sees Rick being tackled down to the ground by a zombie. He shoots it in the head and Rick stands up with no scratches. They both get into the police car when the zombies start to get mowed down by bullets. Mark and Rick are surprised and both look to their right. A convoy of Humvees and APCs race down the highway and stop in front of them.

"Open fire!" someone shouts and the machine guns blaze away.

The zombies slowly stand up and Mark gets out of the car, waving his hands.

"Stop! Stop!" he yells. "You're wasting ammo! Haven't you ever seen the movies? You aim for the head!"

The sergeant looks over to him and nods. "Right! Everyone hold your fire and engage when they're close enough. Aim for their heads!"

The convoy resumes shooting but in small bursts of fire. The sergeant thanks Mark for the advice and asks him where he's going.

"Well, sir, I have to get to my family and Rick helped me hotwire that police car over there so now we're planning to head up to Cooperstown, me and my family's emergency meet-up point."

The sergeant rubs his chin as the machine guns continue their fire in the background.

"Listen here, son," he says calmly, "because you helped me, I'll help you. You can take a full squad, an APC, and a supply truck with extra fuel to escort you."

Mark accepts the offer, thanks and wishes the sergeant the best of luck. He then rallies the escorts and drives the police car off to Cooperstown with the APC in front, the Humvee in the back, and the supply truck in the rear.


Something taps Mark on his leg, making him jump. His sister sits in front of him, smiling.

"Kuya! Kuya! Kuya! Mom said to wake up," she says.

"Michelle, I had the coolest dream ever," he says to her.

Michelle sits down on his computer chair and sits attentively to listen.

"So I was dreaming that I woke up..."
thelumpy Apr 4, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
You can read the same entry in deviation form too: [link]

The homey little black car pulled up next to the slim red one and the gear clicked into Park.
Two young men lowered their sunglasses and glanced at the lady sliding out. She was very strange, and very pretty. Her pants were too big for her and her shirt was artistic and not conventional. This was because she had made it herself. Her hair was long…too long. And brown. Pearls were draped over her neck and around her waist. And her sunglasses were gold rimmed. She was very strange and very beautiful.
In her hands was a notebook and a bag of mints. Her pencils were stuck behind her ear, her beautiful ears.
She noticed that she was being looked at…she was used to it. She knew she was strange. She did not know she was beautiful.
“Hey-” the young man in the red car spoke. He was in the driver’s seat. The girl’s pearls clicked slightly as she turned to gaze at them.
“Hello.” she replied. And then she turned, locked her car (with the key, not the “lock” button) and walked up the hill. The couldn’t stop looking at how she walked, like she had nothing to hide.
“I was born to marry her,” said the driver of the cherry red car.
“Like you would know,” replied his friend.
“I think I would know better than you.” retorted the driver. He had dark hair and light eyes.
“What if I said I was born to marry her?” laughed his light haired friend with the dark eyes.
The driver turned and looked his companion straight on. “I would fight you till you said otherwise.” The blond young man shrugged his shoulders. “Doesn’t matter if you think you’re Brad Pitt man, she’s untouchable. Just look at her. She wouldn’t even look at you if you asked her the time of day. Besides. She’s- she just seems strange.”
“Of course she’s strange, she’s meant to be mine.”
The man in the passenger seat gave him a puzzled look. The driver knew exactly what he was saying. He was fluent in eyebrow language. “I don’t care if you believe me, I’ll go ask her now.” he answered. (This time in English. He didn’t think the eyebrow language had a large vocabulary.)
“What? You’re gonna walk up the hill, tap her on the shoulder and ask her to marry you? You can’t just pull off a stunt like that, man! Every girl that’s ever been in a relationship with you has been scared stiff. You are way too optimistic. She’ll never even have to say no…she’ll scorch you with that female look. You know the one. The ‘You are a stupid subhuman species of human, remove yourself, scum’ look.”
The driver only replied by opening the car door and stepping onto the path. He knew he wasn’t going to ask her to marry him. He wasn’t stupid. He was just- strange.

The beautiful lady (he felt that he couldn’t call her a woman, and he couldn’t call her a girl. And certainly not a teenager. She was too royal. Too ethereal) turned when she heard his footsteps next to her picnic table.
“Hey-” he said once more. Her sunglasses were off now.
“Hello.” she replied again. But now she smiled with her answer. “I’m sure you’re positively dying for a mint.”
“Yeah, I really am. Positively.” he slid into the bench seat across from her. And watched as she pulled a mint from the bag and pulled at the crinkly ends to unwrap it. He waited for her to pop it in her mouth. But she pulled the peppermint out of it’s wrapper and handed it, smooth and bare in between two fingers, to him. He took it. He didn’t know what to do with it. He couldn’t ask her to be his with a mint in his cheek. He would probably choke. So he held it in his hand.
“Do you want to go out on a date with me?” He spit out. It wasn’t as hard as it should have been. The strange girl tilted her head in puzzlement. Her mouth scrunched up on one side and her eyebrows moved slightly. And he knew what she was saying. “Only one date you know.”
“Oh. Only one?” she asked suspiciously.
“Well, actually…I was hoping you would marry me. But we could start with one date, right? That’s how lots of marriages start. At least, that’s what I hear.”
“Yes, I hear it starts that way often.” she answered conversationally. “We might as well try one…You seems like such a potentially wonderful husband.” she paused and then leaned on her hands toward him. Her pearls clicked again. “One.”
He finally put the mint in his mouth. She took his hand as calmly as she would touch her husband. He picked up her notebook and her bag of mints.
The man with the light hair and dark eyes couldn’t believe it. Around the bend, hand in hand, were potentially a strange, beautiful, wonderful couple. He couldn’t stop looking at how they walked. Like they had nothing to hide.
lucidflux Aug 10, 2009  Student General Artist
That's simply lovely. :D It would make a great short story!
thelumpy Aug 10, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much!
lucidflux Aug 10, 2009  Student General Artist
:D You're very welcome!
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